I'm so thankful for sobriety! For those of you who have never heard my story I will share it.
The first time I ever did anything was in the fifth grade. I smoked weed for the first time. I didn't really know what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, however, all of my friends were doing it. I wanted to "fit in." I thought that one time would never hurt.
When I was in the 8th grade I started drinking a little here and there. It wasn't anything big, just "fitting in."
I did a few things in High school, but it wasn't until after I graduated that I really fell off the deep end. I wanted my independence, to be free to choose whatever I wanted to do. I had a boyfriend who wasn't the best example for me. I started going out and drinking with him and partied a lot. My parents didn't like what I was doing and gave me a hard time. Looking back I know they were just trying to protect me, but I had the mindset that I knew what was best for me. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do, so I moved out.
I moved in with a bunch of friends. My boyfriend ended up moving in with me because he lost his job and didn't have a place to go. He had just got out of jail for drugs and theft. I caught him smoking heroin one night and was curious. I wanted to see why he was so addicted to it so I tried it. That was the biggest mistake of my life. After one hit I knew why he loved it so much. It made me numb. All those feelings I had toward my parents, friends, and life were numb. The problem was that once I started using it I didn't want to stop. I didn't ever want that feeling to go away. Before I knew it I was completely hooked. I went broke within a month. I had over 3,000 dollars saved in an account. All of that money was gone. I lost my job, I could no longer pay for my apartment, and I didn't have a good relationship with my family anymore. I lied, I hurt the people I love the most. I turned into a criminal. I stole and sold everything I could just so I could get my next fix. I was in the darkest place that I thought I could ever get. Now instead of using heroin for the "high," I used it to feel "normal" again. I couldn't function with out it. If I didn't have a hit first thing when I woke up I got so sick that I couldn't even function. I knew I had a problem, but thought I could stop on my own. I just didn't want to. It wasn't until I got arrested that I knew I needed to take action to change my life. One night my boyfriend and I went to go meet our dealer. He never showed up at our meeting spot so we decided to get a hotel. See, we lived in Provo Utah and our dealer lived in Salt Lake City Utah. That is about an hour drive. While at the hotel we were arrested. I was let go that night, but my boyfriend was in jail for 3 days. When I picked him up at the jail that third day we had a serious talk about what we wanted in life. We each had goals, and there was no way we would accomplish those goals if we were still using. We both wanted to get married in the temple, go to school, have a good stable job, have children, and so much more. We both decided that it was finally time to ask our parents for help. My parents took me to rehab at the Walker Center in Gooding Idaho. Talk about a complete shock! That was the last place in the world I would of ever thought to go. I was in rehab for 28 days. A few days before I was to be released my parents came up to visit and discuss where I would go after I got out. None of us thought it was a good idea to go back to Utah. We all knew that would be a mistake. We discussed the idea of me moving to Twin Falls so I could attend the rehab outpatient center. I could check in once a week and have a meeting, it was my support group. But then the real question came up. Where would I live? My mom and dad opened the phone book and called a LDS church office. The first two offices didn't answer, but the third did. It happened to be a singles ward. The bishop was extremely nice and said he had time to meet with my parents. When my parents got to the church office they told the bishop about my situation. He then told them that he knew a house of 5 girls looking for a new roommate. It was perfect! Heavenly Father had a hand in this decision and my location. This was 6 years ago! I have been in Idaho since. This is now my home. Those girls became like my sisters, in fact one of them set me up on a blind date with my husband. I had a relapse in February 2008 when I went out drinking with a friend, but I have been sober since then. This whole experience has been life changing! I would never change it for anything in the world. At times I regret some of my decisions, I have had to pay for some of the decisions I made even years later, but I have learned so much. If I hadn't made the decisions I made I may not have met my husband, and I may not have my kids. I'm thankful for this trial, but I'm so grateful for my sobriety so I can live life normal again!
The first time I ever did anything was in the fifth grade. I smoked weed for the first time. I didn't really know what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, however, all of my friends were doing it. I wanted to "fit in." I thought that one time would never hurt.
When I was in the 8th grade I started drinking a little here and there. It wasn't anything big, just "fitting in."
I did a few things in High school, but it wasn't until after I graduated that I really fell off the deep end. I wanted my independence, to be free to choose whatever I wanted to do. I had a boyfriend who wasn't the best example for me. I started going out and drinking with him and partied a lot. My parents didn't like what I was doing and gave me a hard time. Looking back I know they were just trying to protect me, but I had the mindset that I knew what was best for me. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do, so I moved out.
I moved in with a bunch of friends. My boyfriend ended up moving in with me because he lost his job and didn't have a place to go. He had just got out of jail for drugs and theft. I caught him smoking heroin one night and was curious. I wanted to see why he was so addicted to it so I tried it. That was the biggest mistake of my life. After one hit I knew why he loved it so much. It made me numb. All those feelings I had toward my parents, friends, and life were numb. The problem was that once I started using it I didn't want to stop. I didn't ever want that feeling to go away. Before I knew it I was completely hooked. I went broke within a month. I had over 3,000 dollars saved in an account. All of that money was gone. I lost my job, I could no longer pay for my apartment, and I didn't have a good relationship with my family anymore. I lied, I hurt the people I love the most. I turned into a criminal. I stole and sold everything I could just so I could get my next fix. I was in the darkest place that I thought I could ever get. Now instead of using heroin for the "high," I used it to feel "normal" again. I couldn't function with out it. If I didn't have a hit first thing when I woke up I got so sick that I couldn't even function. I knew I had a problem, but thought I could stop on my own. I just didn't want to. It wasn't until I got arrested that I knew I needed to take action to change my life. One night my boyfriend and I went to go meet our dealer. He never showed up at our meeting spot so we decided to get a hotel. See, we lived in Provo Utah and our dealer lived in Salt Lake City Utah. That is about an hour drive. While at the hotel we were arrested. I was let go that night, but my boyfriend was in jail for 3 days. When I picked him up at the jail that third day we had a serious talk about what we wanted in life. We each had goals, and there was no way we would accomplish those goals if we were still using. We both wanted to get married in the temple, go to school, have a good stable job, have children, and so much more. We both decided that it was finally time to ask our parents for help. My parents took me to rehab at the Walker Center in Gooding Idaho. Talk about a complete shock! That was the last place in the world I would of ever thought to go. I was in rehab for 28 days. A few days before I was to be released my parents came up to visit and discuss where I would go after I got out. None of us thought it was a good idea to go back to Utah. We all knew that would be a mistake. We discussed the idea of me moving to Twin Falls so I could attend the rehab outpatient center. I could check in once a week and have a meeting, it was my support group. But then the real question came up. Where would I live? My mom and dad opened the phone book and called a LDS church office. The first two offices didn't answer, but the third did. It happened to be a singles ward. The bishop was extremely nice and said he had time to meet with my parents. When my parents got to the church office they told the bishop about my situation. He then told them that he knew a house of 5 girls looking for a new roommate. It was perfect! Heavenly Father had a hand in this decision and my location. This was 6 years ago! I have been in Idaho since. This is now my home. Those girls became like my sisters, in fact one of them set me up on a blind date with my husband. I had a relapse in February 2008 when I went out drinking with a friend, but I have been sober since then. This whole experience has been life changing! I would never change it for anything in the world. At times I regret some of my decisions, I have had to pay for some of the decisions I made even years later, but I have learned so much. If I hadn't made the decisions I made I may not have met my husband, and I may not have my kids. I'm thankful for this trial, but I'm so grateful for my sobriety so I can live life normal again!
This is me before I got healthy again. I was super skinny and well.... sick.
This is me now! I'm healthier and happier than I have ever been.
Be sure to share my story with others who may be needing a little encouragement. Thanks!
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